If you are wondering if you’re demisexual, you’ve come to the right place. Here we’ll explain the meaning of demisexuality and how you can tell you might be a demisexual so you can answer your ‘am I demisexual’ question.
The meaning of demisexuality
Let’s start with sharing what AVEN wiki says about demisexuality: “A demisexual person is someone who does not experience sexual attraction to another person unless or until they have formed an emotional connection with that person. It’s more commonly seen in, but by no means confined, to romantic relationships.”
Am I demisexual?
It’s not a choice. It’s an orientation.
Being demisexual is sometimes confused with deciding not to be sexual with others until you feel comfortable. However being demisexual is not a choice. Even though some people might think it ‘s a choice, it truly is an orientation. Demisexuals do not feel sexually attracted to others until a close, emotional bond is formed.
Demisexual vs sexual vs asexual
If your previous relationships or crushes have started as a friendship, you might be demisexual. You’ll also likely notice a difference between you and your (sexual) peers as (physical) flirting and touch from people most likely will make you feel uncomfortable if you do not have a deep (enough) bond with them. If the thought of doing these things with someone who you’ve emotionally bonded with on a deeper level, makes you happy or even excited you likely are demisexual. If it doesn’t, you might be leaning more towards asexual. (See: Am I asexual?)
Questions to ask yourself
To help figure out if you might be demisexual, you can ask yourself the following questions.
- Is sexual attraction important to me?
- Who have I felt sexual attraction with? Strangers? Friends?
- How close do I need to be with someone before I feel interested in them sexually?
- Have I ever felt any sexual attraction to a stranger or has it always been towards people I’ve bonded with first?
Want to know more about what demisexuality is and isn’t? The video below explains into great detail and gives many examples. These might give you insights and perhaps you’ll even find similarities to your own life.
Find other demisexuals
So you’ve answered the question ‘Am I demisexual‘ with a (somewhat) certain answer: “yes!”. And you’re looking to find other demisexuals?
About 1% of the population falls on the asexuality spectrum. A portion of that group will be demisexual, as they fall in the asexuality spectrum. But don’t let this get you down. That’s still a lot of people. And with the demisexual, asexual and graysexual community growing every day and finding each other online: you too will be able to find others like yourself.
You really are only one click away from meeting other aces. Aside from our own site to find demisexual friends and relationships, there are also a lot of other ways to find other demisexuals. For example, using apps or datingsites for demisexuals and looking for the demisexual hashtag on social media. We can highly recommend using Twitter and Instagram for this as you’ll find many more demisexuals just like yourself.
If you are looking to meet other demisexuals for friendship or perhaps even more, then please visit our demisexual dating site. You can sign up to look for friendship or more. That’s completely up to you.
Finding demisexuals through dating apps
If you’re specifically looking for an app to find and date other demisexuals then be sure to read reviews first. Some have had (safety) issues and others are overpriced others aren’t really apps but link you to their website instead. However, they are there and if it helps you meet your match, then we’re happy to point you in the right direction. You can find the best options of dating apps for demisexuals here.
So, am I demisexual?
Find more information about demisexuality.
Demisexuality Resource Center
One article won’t answer all your questions. We completely understand. So be sure to check out the Demisexuality resource center. Their whole site is dedicated to demisexuality.
Also be sure to visit AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) as their website offers a large archive of resources on demisexuality (and more). They also have the world’s largest asexual community forum.
If you’d like to know more about the demisexual flag, identities, history and demisexual resources: This page will teach you more about all of it.
You can also go to our blog and look up other blogs about demisexuality. We hope this helps you find the answers you need. And if you’d like to ask us a question, feel free to contact us. We’re here to help the demisexual community as much as we possibly can!
Are you demisexual?
You’ve read it all! You probably started reading this blog because you are wondering if you are demisexual. If the answer is yes, then we’d love to hear that! Join our community on our social channels (Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook). And if you’d like to meet demisexuals like yourself, you can also join our demisexual community. You can make friends, and more!