Looking for frequently asked questions about demisexuality? Or better yet, the answers to these questions? We cover a lot of them. If we’re missing any, let us know and we will consider adding them to this list.
What is demisexuality?
A demisexual person does not experience sexual attraction until they have formed a strong emotional connection with someone else. This is not to be confused with actively deciding not to engage sexually until you’ve connected emotionally to someone. A demisexual person will not feel any sexual attraction before forming a bond. It is not a choice.
How to know if you are demisexual
One of the frequently asked questions about demisexuality, is how to know if you are demisexual. The previous question and answer, are a good indicator of seeing if you are demisexual. However, there are more ways to figure this out. We’ve devoted a complete article on this so we can go more in depth. You can find this here: “Am I demisexual?“.
You can also ask yourself the following questions:
- Do I feel sexually attracted to strangers I see on the street?
- Have I felt sexually attracted to someone I was close to?
Why do demisexuals need a label?
As with all labels, it helps people to understand what something or someone is. It can help to form a stronger sense of self and it can help demisexuals find a community. It can be confusing when other (allosexual) people around them talk about sexual attraction when they do not experience this themselves. Many demisexuals grow up feeling different. When teenagers start talking about being attracted to their crushes at school, or celebrities for example. It can become confusing for demisexuals as they do not experience the same sexual attraction their peers do.
Having a label for what someone is experiencing means being able to find a community where they can find mutuals, talk about their experiences, struggles and share advice on navigating a world where a lot is sexualized.
At what age can I know I’m demisexual?
There is no minimum age to identify as demisexual, just like there is no minimum age for any other sexuality. However, most demisexuals recognize they are different by the time others around them start getting interested in sex and are showing interest in and talking about sexual attraction.
Demisexuality vs asexuality
Where demisexuals feel sexual attraction after forming an emotional bond, asexuals feel very little to no sexual attraction to others. Demisexuality is considered to be on the asexuality spectrum, as they are similar but not quite the same.
As stated on demisexuality.org: “Demisexuals are considered part of the asexual community because for the most part, they don’t feel sexual attraction. Many demisexuals are only attracted to a handful of people in their lifetimes, or even just one person. Many demisexuals are also uninterested in sex, so they have a lot in common with asexuals.”
How do demisexuals feel about sex?
While this is a frequently asked question about demisexuality, it is not an easy one to answer. It would be wrong to make statements for all demisexuals. After all, demisexuals have a variety of feelings about sex and sexual activities such as watching porn and masturbating. Let’s look at the asexual community survey from 2017/2018. About a third of the demisexuals is sex favorable, another third feels indifferent and the other third answered with ‘repulsed’, ‘uncertain’ or ‘other’. Take a look at the survey for more information on this subject.
Can demisexuality be cured?
Some people wonder if demisexuality is something that can be cured. The answer is no, because demisexuality is not an illness. Therefor it cannot be cured. A demisexual person has nothing physically wrong with them – there’s nothing in need of “curing.” The same way other sexual orientations do not need curing.
Can I meet other demisexuals online?
Yes! There are quite a few places demisexuals can find each other. For example the AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) forums or on our own website!
Join our demisexual community
Are you demisexual and looking for other demisexuals? Join our amazing community to find friendship and/or dates here: demisexual dating site. You can also find us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Here you can join discussions, talk with others and find giveaways. We hope to see you!