Looking for common questions about asexuality? Or better yet, the answers to these questions? We cover a lot of them. If we’re missing any, let us know and we will consider adding them to the list.
What is asexuality?
The short answer: Asexuality is a sexual orientation that is characterized by a lack of sexual attraction. In research it has been said that about 1% of the people is asexual.
The more detailed answer: Asexuality is a spectrum. People who feel no sexual attraction at all would be considered asexual. Someone who will feel sexual attraction only after forming a deep, emotional bond with someone would be considered a demisexual. Someone who experiences limited sexual attraction would be called a greysexual (someone who is in between the gray area of sexual and asexual).
How to know if you’re asexual
Not experiencing sexual attraction is one (of many) ways to tell you are asexual. However, as with most things, it is not that black and white. Asexuality is a spectrum with different kinds of asexuality, such as demisexuality and greysexuality. Check out our other blogs to learn more about them!
If you’d like to know more about asexuality or want to figure out if you might be asexual, check out our blog “Am I asexual?“
How old should one be to know if they are asexual?
There is no minimum age to identify as asexual, just like there is no minimum age for any other sexuality. However, most asexuals recognize they are different by the time others around them start getting interested in sex and are showing interest in and talking about sexual attraction.
Is asexuality the same as celibacy?
One of the common questions about asexuality is if asexuality is the same as celibacy. The answer is no, it is not the same. Celibacy is a choice. Asexuality is a sexual orientation and therefore, not a choice. And while someone who is asexual might not experience sexual attraction, they can still have sex. Asexuality only has to do with sexual attraction. Not the choice to (not) have sex.
Can asexuals fall in love?
Asexuals who don’t feel sexual attraction can still experience (romantic) feelings for others. There are aromantic, grey-romantic and romantic asexuals (and many more in between). Meaning some asexuals do and some asexuals don’t feel romantic attraction. And even without romantic feelings, asexuals can still feel love. After all, people can also experience love for their family and friends, without romantic attraction.
Do asexuals kiss?
As with everything there is hardly only a black and white answer. Some asexuals do like to kiss, some don’t. Most importantly, being asexual means feeling no sexual attraction to another. An asexual can still enjoy cuddling and/or kissing, as well as other romantic affectionate physical gestures. It usually depends on if an asexual identifies as a romantic asexual or an aromantic asexual (does not feel romantic attraction to others).
Do asexuals masturbate?
A question we hear a lot and the answer might surprise some. So first, let’s explain something important. There is a difference between sexual attraction, sexual desire and libido. One could experience no sexual attraction but still have a libido. Therefore, the answer to this question is: yes, some asexuals masturbate. Not all, but those who do, mostly do it to relieve stress, to fall asleep easier or simply because it’s like “scratching an itch” (libido). The majority of asexuals who masturbate also mention that they do not think of other people while masturbating. And if they do, it is in a non-sexual context.
Do asexuals have sex?
To answer this question we’ll explain the differences between sexual attraction, sexual desire and libido first.
- Sexual attraction: This means you find someone sexually appealing and want to have sex with them.
- Sexual desire: This means you have a desire to have sex. This could be because of different reasons such as a personal connection, pleasure, conception or other reasons.
- Libido: Your sex drive.
While asexuals might not experience sexual attraction, this still means they can have a sexual desire and/or libido. This is why the answer to the question ‘do asexuals have sex?’ is: Some do, some don’t. It depends on libido and their sexual desire.
Can asexuals have children?
Yes asexuals can have children because the lack of sexual attraction that asexuals experience has no influence on their reproductive organs. This means that asexuals can have children the same way allosexuals (people who are not on the asexual spectrum) can have children. There’s also the option to adopt.
Can asexuality be cured?
One of the most common questions about asexuality is if asexuality can be cured. The answer is no, because asexuality is not an illness. Therefor it cannot be cured. However, some people confuse asexuality (lack of sexual attraction) with libido. The latter can, in theory be cured if this is something the person wants it to be remedied. As libido is something that can be influenced by many things such as a medical conditions, medicine use, and more. But again, that is not the same as asexuality. An asexual person has nothing physically wrong with them – there is nothing there that needs “curing.” The same way other sexual orientations do not need curing.
Join the community
Are you asexual and looking for other asexuals? Join our community to find friendship and/or dates: asexuals.net. You can also find us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter!